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User blog:Owenandheatherfan/(S1) Round 3, Pt. 3: Critiques
Welcome, ladies. The judges and I have watched your cooking shows, and, I've made some decisions. When I call your name, please step forward. Ebony Dark'ness. Pussy Poppins. Condragulations, you are both the winners of this week's challenge! You've each won $1,000 and a year's supply of burgers from Hamburger Mary's (where you can eat, drink, and be merry, Mary! wink). Team Bitchin' Kitchen – you are all safe. You may leave the stage. That means team Grub Club, you are all up for elimination. It's time for the judges' critiques. First up is Elissa Catharsis. Jax Frankly, I felt as though your part in the challenge focused mainly on homosexual shock value and I was not impressed. Your runway look wasn't cohesive - the yellow dress I felt did not go with the look at all. Sorry, Elissa. It wasn't your week. RoPaul I agree with Jax in that your yellow dress didn't go with the look. It's kind of ironic that you did a monochromatic look last week when it would have been more fitting now. Regardless, though, your challenge performance was definitely strong and you kept your team afloat. You showed strong leadership tendencies even though that was Dorothy's job – they were completely blanking until you stepped in and gave the idea of sexual tension. Elissa does innuendos well, but my challenge to you is to step out of your comfort zone. Dyna ok your challenge part wasn't great mostly because. when you have like, two people in a scene together and it's comedy you're supposed to bounce off each other? but it was kinda like you and morphine were just talking without listening and your lines were especially uninspired. I would have preferred a whole frickin' straight man routine but you just. went on with this absurd little uncreative ooh boy look at me that's what she said routine. and epiqua already did that so find your own game hon. your look was cool though, i've always had a soft spot in my heart for poseidon and that headdress thing is really extravagant. I like it a lot. good job on the runway part, my mans Next up is Epiqua Uniqua. Jax The cucumber joke was almost funny. Your runway look was ... ambitious, but seeing as you're modeling after the ugliest fish in the sea, I don't know how far you can go with that! OHF I thought you were by far the stand-out on your team, which was surprising. The marijuana hint, the cucumber joke, "once you go black you never go back," tossing the salad, etc. You had lots of jokes that actually had me rolling. This is the side of Epiqua I want to see more of. As for your runway, the dress and hat aren't my favorite, but I do think the shoes save it from being completely tragic. I think you certainly have a unique style, but I want more avant-garde and less Walmart. Dyna ok I didn't expect to like your challenge bit, but you carried it pretty well on your own, actually. some of the double entendres kinda fall flat but actually most of them are in a funny way, like. the Forceful Black Pepper when. y'know essentially it's just grains. the nice thing is you actually made the salad sound tasty but I wish it was spinach instead of lettuce. so good job on that front. your runway performance is ambitious but it kinda leaves a little more to be desired considering all you have is like. a dress, and also idk why your shoes are teeny little anglerfish. i don't really know how anglerfish anatomy works but idk it seems a little disturbing. Also the anglerfish is more like, menacing than ugly? i feel like that one clip from finding nemo pretty much sums my idea of an anglerfish up and this just. doesn't really work, to that standard Next up is Morphine. Jax Same as Elissa for the challenge, seeing as your parts were inseparable. Now, as for your runway, Ursula is fat. Right? We all know that. I've got one word of advice for you: Don't model after fat people! It never goes well! That's all I've got. OHF I didn't like your challenge performance. Everyone on Grub Club was doing sexual innuendos, but you still stuck to the same scary shtick. It shows a lack of versatility, and you stuck out like a sore thumb. It was entertaining at first, but the shock value is gone, and now I want to see what else Morphine can do. Meanwhile, your runway was a mess. The plush hat and fish are hideous, I'm not sure what weird purple tentacle thing you have wrapped around your waist, the corset / heels aren't proportional, I don't see the relevance of those red floaty things... it just doesn't work for me. You were going for Ursula but you gave me dead fish (though, I can't even describe you as fish given the fact that you're only wearing green eyeshadow). Dyna your part in the challenge was frickin' bold, tbh. I like the fact that. you threw away the cliches of yknow sexual suggestivity and just went straight to the i'm gonna be fuckin' creepy with my food thing. although the sexual shit at the end kinda took it away from the whole thing but I really liked the line "big and beefy just like a needle", it made no sense, but it cast a really good image in my head--much like your parts of the challenge. bold, good effort, but weak ending. your runway shit is also actually pretty uncreative considering Ursula's like. the first underwater thing I could think of. yknow ursula was like modeled after a drag queen right? she's one of the original like legendary revolutionary queer positive queer coded characters in cinema, and you just kinda. didn't capture that very well. the look folds together ok but the whole fish thing just doesn't go well on the eyes and definitely doesn't amuse me. really no points there Ladies, I've made some decisions. Elissa Catharsis. So far, there's been no margarine of error. You're safe. Epiphany. We cannoli do so much. I'm sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination. Epiqua Uniqua. This week, you were the appetizer, but felt like the main course. You're safe. Morphine. Your segment overdosed on scary. ... You're safe. Dorothy Gay. As a leader, you should have been crystal queer. I'm sorry my dear, but you are up for elimination. ---- Two queens stand before me! Ladies, this is your last chance to impress me and save yourselves from elimination. The time has come... for you to lip-sync... for your life! Just to reiterate - for a lip-sync, you will essentially be "gif-syncing." You can find the lyrics to this specific song online. You will post the lyrics in the comments, and under each lyric, a gif that correlates to the line that's being sung. There should be a gif for every lyric, though you are allowed to re-use gifs for any repeating lines (such as a chorus). You don't have to upload every gif to the wiki, just link to it. The gifs you find are essentially your performance. They should be relevant and dynamic. They should include some sort of dance or representation of the lyric. You should also have a gif for any sections that may not be portrayed in the lyrics – for example, if the song climaxes in a guitar solo, don't just ignore that portion. You're also allowed to edit the lyric text (so, if you want to color, bold or italicize the text for emphasis, go ahead). You have 24 hours to submit a lip-sync, that is, until 10:00 PM EST on Tuesday, August 8th. There will be no extensions. Good luck... and don't fuck it up. Category:Blog posts